First loves... They distract you, they never go away, and they keep reappearing. Wether it's a memory, a street, a name, a piece of gum, a sock or a phrase in a piece of music, you'll find yourself related to that first love, even though you try so hard to just let it slip. You can fight it all you want, and keep telling yourself little lies, but lies never work, they get discovered, and all of a sudden you're faced with facts you cannot control, deny or escape from. It's like the darkness, you're not afraid when you're out, but when inside, all alone in the dark, it freaks you out.
Mark Twain once said: "In love, you pay, when you leave" --> cause either you regret you left, or you're so hurt by the other person, and then the hurt turns into hatred, and hatred never leaves.
What is it with first loves, wether it's a car, a man/woman, a pen, some food or artwork - why are they stuck? Why can't they just get the fuck out, so that, when the opportunity for a second, third or fourth or 25'th love can look you in the eyes, and you can return the look?
It seems that most human-beings only love what they do not have.... I might be one of them?!
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